New Law Requires SNAP Recipients To Balance Food On Nose Until Receiving Command To Eat It

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 17 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 10%
  • Publisher: 51%

Law Law Headlines News

Law Law Latest News,Law Law Headlines

WASHINGTON—As part of an effort to ensure the benefits were only allocated to those in “true need,” a new federal law went into effect Thursday requiring all Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program recipients to balance food on their nose until they receive the command to eat it.

“There’s no reason why working-age, able-bodied food stamp recipients can’t show us that they’re very good boys,” said House Speaker Mike Johnson , who demonstrated how the new SNAP requirement would work by carefully placing a block of cheddar cheese onto a constituent’s nose before backing away and holding out an open

palm. “For far too long, the welfare system has been abused by SNAP recipients not willing to wait, wait. We want to see nice SNAP recipients, obedient SNAP recipients. Only then can they get their treat.” At press time, sources confirmed more than an hour had passed and Johnson still hadn’t given his constituent the command.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.
We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in LAW

Law Law Latest News, Law Law Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

New law requires New York businesses to show credit card surcharge in price before checkoutBusinesses in the Empire State must now include credit card surcharges in the prices they show to customers, like on menus, before checkout.
Source: CBSNewYork - 🏆 268. / 63 Read more »

A New Law Requires All Cosmetology Students in New York State Learn to Style Textured HairBill S6528A was signed by New York Gov. Kathy Hochul, making it required by law for aspiring hairstylists to be trained on natural curly and coily hair textures. Here's what that means for cosmetology schools.
Source: Allure_magazine - 🏆 473. / 51 Read more »

Federal Judge Questions Legality of Texas' New Immigration LawJudge David A. Ezra criticizes Texas' new law allowing state and local cops to arrest migrants, stating that it goes against federal immigration law.
Source: SAcurrent - 🏆 607. / 51 Read more »

New state law increasing sentences for human smuggling takes effectA state law that increases the minimum sentence for people convicted of smuggling immigrants or operating a stash house went into effect Tuesday.
Source: SAReport - 🏆 252. / 63 Read more »

What new SF law means for scooter, e-bike ownersCity leaders are wary of increasing fires caused by scooters and e-bikes
Source: sfexaminer - 🏆 236. / 63 Read more »

Voting law changes force Texas counties to make choicesA new law requires small counties to increase early voting days and hours — with no new money from the state.
Source: TexasTribune - 🏆 441. / 53 Read more »