We also have three beautiful, well-trained golden retrievers. They are as much a part of our family as the humans, and everybody who comes to visit loves them.
At one large family gathering, with 12 relatives staying in our house, my sister-in-law announced she had invited a college friend from 40 years earlier, plus the friend’s husband, to spend an entire day with us. They would join us for the planned celebratory lunch, dinner and festivities. Then we were warned that the friend, despite being a licensed psychiatrist, has a deathly and obsessive terror of dogs. When she sees any dog, she becomes hysterical, jumps up on chairs, screams, etc.
This uninvited guest was in our house from 10 a.m. until 10 p.m. — 12 hours. And this is somebody we do not know. It really ruined the day, the celebration, everything. We understand that not everyone likes dogs, and we NEVER take our dogs to other people’s homes or parties unless specifically invited. We would not even think of doing so.
Another family gathering is coming up, and my sister-in-law has announced her friend will be coming again. This is not amenable to us. How do we get out of this without offending everybody? I am so frustrated with all of this. What is the old saying? “No good deed goes unpunished?”reasonably and justifiably say, “I am afraid that while we enjoyed meeting your friend, we simply cannot guarantee a safe environment for her with the dogs. Perhaps we should meet at your home in the future.
While it is true that Miss Manners generally prioritizes the comfort of guests over animals, she makes a notable exception when the guest was never invited in the first place. If your sister-in-law objects, you might politely remind her of that.
Nobody is coming over to my home that doesn't get along with my dogs, they live here you don't.
Was guest invited or uninvited?
Well the owner of the dogs could put them on the cage or on the other room right?
Even if you're afraid of dogs, being scared of golden retrievers? What are they gonna do, keep trying to get you to throw a tennis ball?
Exposure is the only way to break a phobia!