blesko
Maybe his drippy hair will leave stains on the marble
You guys need to bring back Diamond Joe , presidential edition.
I was hoping he'd go out Shawshank Warden style...
He hasn't 'jumped' in eight years.
Brokenstill50 That B should do the jump, pronto.
…And his voice can still be heard As you pass beneath that chandelier, “Who’ll come a-fightin’ subpoenas with me?”
Not the typical action star. If the feds get you immediately question them about 911. Tell them that it was an inside job and demand the feds to be held without bail until your team can press charges. Then declare you are running for president. Never fails!
StuartGreen2018 😎♥️
conversely, biden's son, who vacationed in ukraine where their president is likened to a fascist martha quinn, said 'we stickin our missiles up russia's craw! dats old news 4 nuts! we comin for china now, y'all! so eat that cracker, jack!'
ndrew_lawrence
I'm going to DVR that moment and rewatch it 1,000,000 times.
The best part is that this article is from 2019.
It's a shame this isn't serious...
chrislongview 😂😂
amusingassclown 😂😂
LaurieTrth2Powr Waiting to hear the Thump when he Lands....👍😂
Hey remember when everybody loved this guy in the early 2000’s...yeah, I never did.
wtf?!
Plot twist: it all happened at the actual Four Seasons Hotel (not at the gardening retailer)
Aha, but he had a plan B, a pool of dripping hair dye broke his fall.
I was disappointed that this was an Onion article
eeeesh that's .. yikes .. after what happened on Monday.
Please let this one come true
dianemariereid He didn’t survive right? 🤣🤣
Dammit it’s not real
If only...
Shout-out to the graphics department. Nicely done.
If nobody is there to observe, does he still make a thud?
Same energy
Just recreating the Weapon Of Choice music video.
I'd be fine with dead too tbh
Sweet fantasy - think for most people, regardless of party affiliation.
Well they didn’t caught him alive but they sure caught him dead
FBI --- the DNC secret police ---
I'm willing to bet the man survived that fall knowing The Onion.
I wish
Hhahahahahaha
He's to fat
Hilarious. What a shit show this country is right now
One can only hope
I hope not. We deserve to watch his perp walk.
tooty fruity rudy
Haven't seen Dracula in a few years so forgot - can vampires fly?
I'm heartbroken that I won't get to see him arrested at a Yankee's game.
Isn't this the final scene from Scarface?
AmyAyers16 Figured he'd pop out his wings instead
KevinMKruse I think you may have had a sad tweet up for a moment that you took down. Hope everything is okay. The work you are doing is so important and so welcome. Both of you actually.
AdamParkhomenko Damn I love the Onion.
KevinMKruse I fucking WISH...
Quick, someone run to the bottom of the stairs and drive a stake through his heart to finish the job.
Ha ha. Ha ha. Oh wait. This is not South Park. This is not real. This is just propaganda.
TrueFactsStated Lmfao
KevinMKruse If only
SAIL!
TrueFactsStated Jesus..this sheeeeit is funny
Can only dream, maybe one day
weapon of choice
AdamParkhomenko Russians call that a misfortunate accident!
no no rudy, you have to hold the x button
Hahahahaha!
If only ...,.
KevinMKruse Is he swinging for the gilded chandelier at Don's Mar a Lago?
KevinMKruse 2019 is so awful that it's making the Onion do shit like this. Ffs get it together USA. Ily but damn, how am I supposed to sleep?
Now if that was Shifty Schiff it would have been funny.
Lol whaat?!
oh god. I'm fuckin crying...
KevinMKruse If humor is not a Southpark episode wrapped in bellyaching humor I cannot condone it 😠😑✋🏻 STAHP
Another feel-good story from The Onion.
Forgot his cape was at the cleaners. From hero to zero ...just like that.
the irony: the idea that someone would want him alive
'top of the world, ma!'
You already posted this
Damn wish this wasn't an onion tweet.
That's supposed to be Giuliani
NOOOOoooooooo!
I lived in New York as a destitute junkie during Rudy’s tenure . It was awful. Nightmare scenarios , pimps and drugs , death, decay. Buildings that are empty still watch younas you tensely walk by. My wife left me for a younger man . The city was alive , but rotten on the insides
Hope the chandelier was okay
I was hoping this was a 3 year-old story that would explain why Rudy looks and sounds like a reanimated corpse.
Fat Boy Slim
Dear The Onion, Will you marry me? ❤️❤️❤️
snopes is this real?
There’s a 9/11 joke in here somewhere
I mean he's not wrong
Thats an award winning image.
that's not nice
That was one failed frog
Hysterical. What's it like selling out all of your principles?
Unfortunately - Rudy doesn’t realize he’s actually been dead for years and has returned to earth as “bad” Buda!
YES!!! Who needs magic when you can make up the world as you go. Rudy's my HERO!!! Ha haaaa!
lkjtexas But her emails!
I love these
this kills me 😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
Omg I am hollering 😂
Not the Onion
I laughed until I cried at this
The onion has taken a pretty dark turn
Wish this was true!!! foxandfriends
MOAGA = My Other Attorney Got Arrested.
Wile E. Giuliani
Can we make it 10 stories?
Is the chandelier okay?
NiteniteMelissa Lol I wish he would
If only...
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
It's not the first time he had prior knowledge of something to fall multiple stories...
😂😂
Best Onion article of the month.
If The Onion gave up satire, would we even know?
Lol damn
And now I need to go cross-check this story to make sure it didn't *actually* happen.
I bet when Rudy Giuliani looks in the mirror he says you'll never catch me Batman.
LOL
RudyGiuliani 😄
Is this a joke?
homerun!
Oh if dreams could come true.
An entirely possible outcome.
EliotHiggins Walk without rhythm it won't attract the worm
ThoughtsAndPrayers
mossy416
Can't vampires fly
This could understandably be mistaken for a true headline. Classic Giuliani.
You the best
EliotHiggins if only we could be so lucky.
First decent thing he's done
Of all the news we wish could be real 😂
Die Hard 10.
Here's Rudy trying to escape ...
Lmao you guys are on fire between this and the mayor pete story
Lolol
The one time he doesn’t lie.
I was so hoping this was caught on video.
🤞🏽
If only.
Entirely believable
That’s our guy!
Lmao!!
Lol
God bless