Dear Annie: Standoffish daughters-in-law ignore me, text at family events

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It is as if I’m invisible or in a cone of silence.

For years, I have tried to have a relationship with my two daughters-in-law, and at some point, I finally gave up. Now, when we get together, the family gatherings are not horrible. But at best, they are superficial.

When the holiday or event is over, then it’s goodbye with a kiss and a hug and out the door until the next major birthday or holiday. I have, in the early years, tried to meet them for lunch -- on my dime -- or go shopping, but they have always respectfully declined. I am a grieving mom and grandmother who has tried, to no avail. I feel loved at a distance and pray for a better connection and relationship. I am thankful for the moments I have had, even with the feeling of distance. At least they haven’t gone out of my life completely. -- Grieving GrandmotherYou are wise to be grateful for the good moments you have had. If you focus on what you appreciate, you will attract more of that.

She immediately addressed me by my first name, which I thought was friendly and lovely. When I reciprocated and called her by her first name, she informed me that it was not appropriate for a patient to call a doctor by her first name.

 

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