Dear Lisi: My sister-in-law is totally passive aggressive. She’s all smiles and friendly, but then her husband — my husband’s brother — will say things that are obviously her concerns. I find it infuriating! If you have something to say, or an issue you need to discuss, don’t send a messenger and pretend you know nothing about it. It’s taken me a few years to recognize her pattern and M.O. (modus operandi, i.e., method of operation), and now we seem to be in an awkward dance.
Why can’t she just be up front? It’s so frustrating! Dance partner Have you asked her? I happen to be a person who doesn’t shy away from confrontation, and I was always taught that if you don’t ask for what you want, it’s not just going to show up or happen. But I recognize that not everyone is wired the same way. However, in this situation, you may want to have a chat with your SIL. Take her out for lunch, talk about the family, and then say simply, “If you ever want to tell me anything, or have an issue, I would appreciate it more if you spoke with me directly instead of going through our husband
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