Dear Abby: Thanks to my husband’s upbringing, he has a hair-trigger temper. His mother knows exactly which buttons to push to set him off.
I’m a 35-year-old woman who is married to a 27-year-old man. We currently live in the same house as his mother. She lives downstairs; we live upstairs. Thanks to my husband’s upbringing, he has a hair-trigger temper. His dad has an explosive temper, and his mother is a narcissist. He’s never directed it at me, but his mother sets him off.
Sometimes, I think she does it on purpose because she has some kind of victim complex. I have tried everything to help him control his temper; nothing has worked. It has become normal for me to end the day with them fighting. I am exhausted by them. If they’re home before I go to work, they’ll get into some sort of yelling match. When I’m finishing my workday, he’ll call me and I’ll hear them arguing on the phone.
I’m tired of the fighting. It’s creating so much anxiety and depression. I have told him this and asked him to at least try to stop, but it’s still the same. What do I do?You are more mature than your husband, both emotionally and chronologically. He is still under his mother’s thumb, which is why she’s so good at pushing his buttons. It is time for you both to move as far away from his mother’s dwelling as possible.