I have an in-law who lives about a six-hour drive away. She was the first to have kids in the family and we are the second, so she is understandably anxious for her kids to play with their cousins and to talk to another mom. Our kids are close in age and get along super well. I really do like her, and I always enjoy our conversations. That said, when she visits, she always shows up with sick kids.
I think your sister-in-law’s choices seem extreme. But I don’t know her, or what may have led her to them. She is doing what she thinks is best for her child. You and your partner will do the same. Your choices needn’t be the same as hers.My grandson recently started a preschool program. He just turned 5, and missed the cutoff date for kindergarten by nine days. He has always been called by his middle name.