AINSWORTH, OH—Members of law enforcement responding to a violent situation unfolding at McKinsdale Elementary School reportedly made the decision to stand down Friday after becoming confident that a school shooter would tucker himself out.
“We just have to let him burn off some energy and let that adrenaline wear off, and then he’ll be right where we want him. Plus, the school security guard told us he saw the shooter exit the building through a door that locked behind him, so to reenter and continue killing children he had to run all the way around the school to the front door , which probably took a lot out of the little guy. If everyone just remains calm, the assailant should be ready to rest his weary bones in no time.
I thought the onion only wrote fake stories?
Eventually he'll run out of bullets
They call that move The Uvalde Two-step.
Man, this one hit me on a lot of levels
Holy fuck this is too soon
Omg so terrible …but like Jimmy says, if we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane
That actually happened in Uvalde Texas.
Onion is 🔥 today
Poor fellow is going to be soo tired but, at least he'll get to be taken to get a kiddie meal at the Local Burger King afterwards.
Good thing they brought that Krispy Kreme box for the weight.....I mean wait.
They're just doing it for attention. If you don't pay any attention to them, they'll stop when they realise you aren't going to react to their tantrums.
Some things aren't funny.
God damn what happened? Onion just posting banger after name all of the sudden.
😂
Jfc
That does seem to be what happened in Uvalde. 🤷♀️ “He has to run out of bullets sooner or later!”
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