Roe v. Wade
and eliminating the constitutional right to an abortion, Justices Brett Kavanaugh and Clarence Thomas reportedly championed the better future they’d created for the next generation of rapists. “We did it, my friend—we’ve been waiting decades for this moment,” a visibly teary-eyed Kavanaugh was overheard saying to Thomas as the two congratulated each other on their work to make the world a better and safer place for perpetrators of sexual assault.
JosephWright67 No rest with this injustice! The rapists are blaming the victim again. Nope, no rest! We will start with tRump and work our way to SCOTUS. RAPIST need no place in ultimate power! brett kavanaugh and clarence thomas are first to go!
Rapist are already allowed out of prison.
So leftist
FinkelmanYoel So Sickening so
Urohw2
davidcrosss anytime I see Kavanaugh's face...my brain ticks and says...'I LIKE BEER'. auto reaction.
davidcrosss Imagine thinking this was clever
davidcrosss LOL, Whats the percentage of abortions because of rape. Wake up davidcrosss
davidcrosss Kavanaugh: Hey Tommy, want to get a beer. The Federalist Society is buying.
SpeakForYourse6 Prove it
Thanks for turning it over to the states.
JLap64 There is talks of questionable payoffs of kavanaugh's credit card debt, mortgage and country club dues? If true who owns him!? And they continue after hunter biden.
davidcrosss Babylon Bee owns you so hard. SAD!
This makes zero sense.
davidcrosss How stupid is that?
davidcrosss You need a segment on live TV opposite Fox News. Fight fire with fire.
Both jokes
I thought the onion was supposed to be satire? Did you invent even *one* line or quote for this article? Because that sounds bloody verbatim.
hillaryrettig
The scary thing is... This almost doesn't seem like parody.
You can always rely on the Democrats to let the rapists out. Bill Clinton is still out.
Don't worry, one of us will tell them.
Wow... If you were going for satire that’s a massive FAIL. Usually there has to be some basis in reality... I wonder if these men regret not suing the snot out of the sniveling, politically motivated “bravely” LYING women who came after them? 🤨
wow
JosephWright67 PREEEEEEEACH!!!
quick reminder that if you are a rapist, you are not an incel
Man gotta tag SCOTUSblog with this fun insight
And don’t abort that seed I’ve planted.
Some states allow rapists to claim parental rights because all women should be happy to hand over their child to a rapist.
jdorchen ‘I’m Sorry’ is not enough
davidcrosss 😡
Onion, your headlines were funny when they weren’t driven to one side
This is sad, but it’s true.
just unfollowed
To mark the overturning of Roe v. Wade, The Onion aborts humor.
To all the anti-choice people out there: Grow this in a petri dish, motherfuckers.
y'all got some weird-ass fetishes my dudes
TrueMephres onion, you are supposed to make satire, this is literally just news.
Related: Supreme Court Rules 5-4 Women Can 'Have Good Cry' Over Anti-Abortion Laws
neilhimself Incentivizing it so that they and their families get paid, whilst also getting away with their crimes against women because women are now basically 'livestock' 😡😡😡
They should have a baby together
Once one of them knocks up their next victim, they'll be re-visiting this decision...
This!
What about the 63 million innocent babies? What about science 2022? Why was Scott Peterson charged and convicted of two murders?
so would yall support legal abortions only for those cases but everything else is ban? If no, then you never cared about those cases, so dont bring them up.
neilhimself prorape party
Based and scathing
swordsjew
Waiting for Thomas to pen the majority opinion when the 'originalists' move to nullify the equal protection clause.
Oh shit
This is just so wrong.
Onion really this isn't funny
RexChapman
It's not even far fetched from reality anymore
QuickDCapital Are you serious? Rape, incest, and health of the mother account for 3% of abortions. While you might be, I’m not for abortion as a convenient birth control method. I’m sure it’s legal in your state to kill unborn babies at will. So don’t worry, nothing will change for you.
And murderers.
Seems like your leftist District Attorneys deserve that award more.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 all damn day. I Love you!
🙌
jlDavisito So crazy how one of these men, just a few years in the past, could’ve been falsely accused and lynched. The other on would inherit the property in which such lynching took place.
How fitting it’s called The Onion since I laugh until I have tears in my eyes at their articles
bythehandofbob
You're supposed to be satire
least freakish lib article
koshersemite Perfect. No notes.
if anything, rapists are ardently pro-abortion
carapanarana
common Wnion
Ah, the Onion spreading lies, how progressive.
Fuck the Onion. Cry more, baby killers.
The Onion is right
If only this was actually satire
ToscaMusk Liberals, champions for murdered unborn children
Glorious onion got that right
This is why we need satire like this. Even if it doesn't make us laugh due to the harsh facts of reality overshadowing that, it puts a light on perspectives we otherwise wouldn't consider due to their ludicrous nature.
conjurewoman I was gonna say a better future for Downs Syndrome, but you took the L.
I bet Brett's college crew—Squee, Queef, Barf, and ButtPlug—are jumping for joy.
Don't hold back, Onion. Seriously.
amhrannua Horrifyingly true in my opinion.
Begun the coping wars has
ActualCorn I thought you guys were parody news, this is just news.
They gotta protect their own kind
I never thought I’d see a truth article form the onion…yet here we are
More so trying to prevent the virth decline we are f as cing. Yall can be delusional about it if you want. But as we speak our populations not only decreasing from premature deaths covid. But also it is decreasing because girls keep killing their pregnancies. Not from rape.
Copium
In other news, after overturning RoevsWade, Kavanaugh's calendar showed, 'Brews with Squi!'
In related news, 'Majority of Supreme Court justices expected to strike down the phrase 'right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness' as too vague.'
UnpaintedMelody I can't help myself right now. I wish it was some way these two could be forced to carry a baby for nine months after being raped by an unknown monster. Wonder what type of opinion they have after they delivered? Sorry had to vent.
Keep sayin, the onion needs to start doin real news. Their headlines are based on facts more than most msm these days
👀
Dammit, Onion. You're supposed to be satire.
Trust me. There are a whole lot of blonde Baptist mothers who have taken their teenage daughters to “visit” relatives over the years. Some come back in a few weeks. Some in like 7 months. Hypocrisy
Justice Brett Kavanaugh:
ChyanneDennis Rape and incest is a small percentage of abortions. Stop using a small percentage to justify the people that don’t want to take responsibility for their actions.
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