Ask Amy: Estrangement follows police ‘wellness check’

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DEAR AMY: We are a family of seven siblings, all in our 60s. My brother “Brian” and sister-in-law lost their teenage daughter to a sudden medical event in 2014. ... In 2017, our sister “Susan” (who lives across the country) called Brian on a day he was feeling deeply sad. ...

DEAR AMY: We are a family of seven siblings, all in our 60s.Brian, his wife and two surviving children have been rocked to the core, and have sought individual and peer support grief counseling. They continue to manage with grace.Otherwise, it was a normal day - his son was helping to pack Brian’s car for the work trip he was taking that afternoon, and neighbors were clustered on the sidewalk, participating in a local gardening project.

Can’t sadness and parental grief and despondency be discussed, managed, and supported, without launching a paramilitary response?DEAR SURVIVING: Your two sisters misread and overreacted to your brother’s situation in the moment, and I agree that they have handled things very badly, especially in the aftermath of this episode.

Instead, they are doing what people who feel cornered by their mistakes often do: They are doubling down.

 

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