SAN JOSE, CA—Touting the piece of technology as revolutionizing the legal industry, Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes reportedly arrived for the beginning of her trial for wire fraud Monday with a prototype for a black box that will prove her innocence.
“Inside the device, which I recently patented, tiny internet-connected modules run real-time tests using your fingerprint data to obtain a comprehensive picture of the defendant’s personal history and psychological profile, which it then compares to statistical models of criminal behavior and aggregated judicial analytics to render a verdict, which in my case I am positive will be innocence.
Same shit
Reportedly the box she used was one created by Semens testing machines. The Semens testing machines were hacked to produce favorable results which were faulty. Guilty!
🤣
There is an old Hawaii Five O back in the sixties where Sa woman used S computer in a medical scam like Holmes. And it took up a room. Holmes should be commended for shrinking the size of a fake computer.
Actually she looks like Joaquin Phoenix as the Joker..
wongmjane That has to be a joke !
just like others, the story of Elizabeth Holmes will be available on netflix very soon
MikeElgan 🤭🤭🤭
Behold the Lence (LEgal innoceNCE) thingamajig version 2.0...able to determine one's legal innocence/guilt from a simple heelprick! Justice served from a prick!
Took me a moment to get the point.
StephanieNoblit
banalplay i’m sorry but the judge should be far more dubious & this raises ethical concerns for me
Sometimes, The Onion is just too perfect.
This is what you get when you have a woman who wants to be a bro, and uses bro science!
Wao
UGroundbreakers
🤣
What a great satire!
zerohedge
First they ignore you, then they convict you, then they shank you, then you are Shaniqua’s bitch for the next 10-15 years.
zerohedge Why you tweeted the onion? Stop tweeting fake news!
😂😂😂
lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
She’s going with The Devil Made Me Do It defence.
zerohedge She just needed more time…
伊丽莎白·霍姆斯带着将证明她无罪的黑匣子原型出庭受审
Why don't they build her entire case out of the black box?
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Elizabeth Holmes Reportedly Plans to Accuse Ex-Boyfriend and Theranos Executive of AbuseAt her upcoming criminal trial, Elizabeth Holmes plans to argue that alleged abuse from her ex-boyfriend and business partner impeded her ability to make her own decisions Whose fault is it for her using that weird fake voice? She’s changed her wardrobe. Was that his idea, too? Maybe they did, but she is culpable for how she misled many, many, people
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Elizabeth Holmes Might Claim Abusive Relationship in Theranos Fraud TrialThe biotech startup founder alleges in newly unsealed court documents a decadelong abusive relationship with the company’s former president that could figure in her defense; he denies any abuse. The judge better not buy this garbage. Can you imagine if a guy tried this shit? 😂 At some point 'troublesome menstruation' is going to clear this girl.
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Theranos Founder Elizabeth Holmes on Trial: What to ExpectWatch: As the long-awaited trial of Theranos founder and former CEO Elizabeth Holmes gets underway, we look back at the scandal’s biggest milestones and preview what we can expect to see in the fraud trial For once I read 'Thanos Founder' BEST AIRDROP IN 2021:🎇✨🧨 go to the airdrop link and drop your ETH address it there Airdrop per user 1.2YFIN🦄 Collective investment prices:1ETH =800YFIN🦄 participate in collective investment Price target:1YFIN🦄=3000$🧨🚀🦄 ElizabethHolmes is a NO.HEARTS❤️🩹, who promised HOT.EARNS🤑. Her business plan was ONE.SHART🩸, HOT.SNARE🤑! Her venture was NARE.SHOT. 😤Let's all throw TAR.ON.SHE! 💩 SunnyBalwani is a SEAT.HORN.🤥 THERANOS went OH.STEARN! 📉So, HE_NO.STAR 🤬too! BelieveAllWomen Anagram
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Theranos Founder Elizabeth Holmes on Trial: What to ExpectWatch: As the long-awaited trial of Theranos founder and former CEO Elizabeth Holmes gets underway, we look back at the scandal’s biggest milestones and preview what we can expect to see in the fraud trial For once I read 'Thanos Founder' BEST AIRDROP IN 2021:🎇✨🧨 go to the airdrop link and drop your ETH address it there Airdrop per user 1.2YFIN🦄 Collective investment prices:1ETH =800YFIN🦄 participate in collective investment Price target:1YFIN🦄=3000$🧨🚀🦄 ElizabethHolmes is a NO.HEARTS❤️🩹, who promised HOT.EARNS🤑. Her business plan was ONE.SHART🩸, HOT.SNARE🤑! Her venture was NARE.SHOT. 😤Let's all throw TAR.ON.SHE! 💩 SunnyBalwani is a SEAT.HORN.🤥 THERANOS went OH.STEARN! 📉So, HE_NO.STAR 🤬too! BelieveAllWomen Anagram
Source: WSJ - 🏆 98. / 63 Read more »