Help! I Offended My Indian Sister-in-Law by Bringing Groceries for Our First Visit.

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DearPrudie: I was taught not be a burden when you’re a houseguest.

This is actually very sweet. You wanted to be a good guest and she wanted to be a good host, and you simply ran into a cultural difference. This difference might have to do with your countries of origin, but also keep in mind that different families and communities within the United States have different traditions and norms, so it wasn’t totally correct to tell her this is how things are done here.

Hopefully years from now you’ll be saying, “Remember when I brought all those groceries to your house without asking and you thought I was calling you broke?” and laughing about it., where Lavery will be chatting with special guests, doling out advice, and talking about feelings, from the monumental to the minute. New episodes every Tuesday and Friday.My husband and I have been together for seven years now, and things are great! But there’s one thing that happens sometimes that baffles me.

More broadly, can you set aside mornings as a time when you honor that you’re both grumpy and just don’t say negative things? I mean obviously, if he’s started a fire and the kitchen is burning down, let him know. But if you have questions about why he operates the way he does or critiques about things that really don’t matter that much, maybe save them for when you’re both more awake and cheerful.

 

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Indian giver

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