I Get To Determine Whether Gay People Can Marry

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That’s right, me: an embarrassingly undistinguished justice with a history of ethical misconduct who hasn’t spoken during an oral argument in almost seven years. I get to rule on whether gay people should have basic human rights.

Pretty crazy, right? I’m one of only nine Americans in a position to decide, in a matter of months, whether our democracy values the right of a group of human beings to get married.Now, if you’re having a hard time wrapping your head around that one, you’re not alone. If you had told me in 1991 that I would one day have the power to decide the basic rights of millions of people, I would have laughed in your face.

Yet lo and behold, that same year, despite accusations that I sexually harassed attorney Anita Hill, my appointment to replace retired justice Thurgood Marshall was confirmed. Soon enough, I was abstaining from oral arguments for years at a time and failing to disclose my wife’s sources of income.I’ve spoken maybe two times in the past decade, for Christ’s sake. Think about that.

Oh, and in 2003 I dissented in the court’s decision to strike down a Texas law prohibiting homosexual acts.Yet in six months, in the year 2013, I’ll have the opportunity to decide whether hospitals can legally bar gay people from visiting their loved ones. Take a second and think about the gay people in your life. Your best friend, your mom, your dad, your teacher, your coworker, your partner,. I get to decide whether these people face institutional discrimination. The same goes for bisexual people, transgender people, and anyone else whose right to marry may be prohibited at the state or federal level.

 

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Is it true that homosexuals can make poo babies? Thomas asked: Here is what I've heard: sooner or later practically every homosexual has anal sex, butt few homosexuals know that unprotected 'butt sex' can result in a child made out of poo.

It's funny that his actual argument is that he SHOULDN'T be allowed to make that decision. That it should be left to the legislative branch. Keep hating tho...

Where’s the joke?

Weird flex

Clarence, look as likeable as you can! Um, that's it? OK we'll go with that I guess..

No. He (along with the rest of the Court) get to decide whether the Constitution confers that right. No one thinks the Constitution prevents states from recognizing the right of their own accord. (Did I miss the joke?)

The court literally did that.

He just wants his prima nocta.

'...Only after I find out who put that pubic hair on my Coke.'

Based

Ironic that a man in a mixed race marriage would be out to ban gay marriage.

AGAIN!

basically

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