Law Daily Report

Report: Clicking This Link Will Add You To Several FBI Watchlists

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 1 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 4%
  • Publisher: 51%

Law Law Headlines News

Law Law Latest News,Law Law Headlines

WASHINGTON—Explaining that your name is now permanently on multiple databases run by the federal law enforcement branch, a new report issued Tuesday confirmed that, well, you’ve done it: By having clicked on this link, you have been added to several FBI watchlists. Despite the fact that you could have easily scrolled past and abstained from navigating to this article, several reports indicated that, uh oh, you are now being tracked by federal agents as a potential terrorist and are prohibited from crossing state lines or leaving the country, all because you couldn’t help yourself. High-ranking officials in the U.S. intelligence community told reporters that regardless of whether you erase your browser history, delete your cookies, or even destroy the device you’re currently using, it’s too late. In fact, several reports indicated that given how much you’ve just fucked up, your best bet now is to bleach your hair, shave off your fingerprints, and fake your own death, as there are several federal agents on their way to take you into custody as you waste your last few moments of freedom reading this. At press time, anonymous FBI sources recommended that you say goodbye to your loved ones and get a move on, seeing as you only have 15 minutes left and the clock is ticking.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

I clicked on it at school and Securly wouldn't let me.

. I think I’m on these watch lists due to frauds hacking & my passwords & using & stealing my accts since (at least 2013 - but likely much longer) -FBI -CIA -DHS -NSA -NASA -UN -Secret Service -National Guard -DOT -Meter maids -Gates, Musk, Orwell -my mother -everyone else

Well shit

i don’t wear a watch but i’d be open

Cool. Matpat from the Game Theorists will really love this button.

That's nothing new.

Noice

Watch me daddy 😉🥦

cautious paranoia is the safe way to safely fear fear

If there ain't an FBI agent at my door in 15 minutes i will be very disappointed

What else is new?

Tried it, didn't like it. How do I unsubscribe?

Funny, 'cause we all are ALREADY on FBI NSA lists. Except, it seems, Trump and his crimefamily

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in LAW

Law Law Latest News, Law Law Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

FBI: Saudi Arabia helps citizens charged with crimes flee the U.S.In one case, a Saudi exchange student disappeared from the U.S. just before his 2017 trial on a manslaughter charge in Portland. Osama. Bin. Laden. We know, the Cheeto Crime Family is banking on it! Because of course.
Source: latimes - 🏆 11. / 82 Read more »

FBI working with Virginia law enforcement regarding 'threats of violence' before Monday's gun rights rallyThe FBI and local law enforcement are working together regarding 'threats of violence' and Virginia clergy leaders are urging prayer and peace as the state's capital braces for a guns rights rally on Monday -- a date which coincides with the celebration of Martin Luther King Jr's legacy. is this more Soros theater? CNN and the msm are working together with the DNC..... The only threat is the black faced Governor trashing the Constitution.
Source: CNN - 🏆 4. / 95 Read more »