My wife and I welcomed our second child, a daughter, into the world two months ago, but the help we were promised from my mother-in-law has yet to arrive. When our first—our son—was born, it was during COVID lockdown, so we neither wanted nor received any help besides a few days’ worth of meals. The process of raising a newborn in isolation was stressful, as was dealing with being laid off during my parental leave.
I realize it’s hard to tell your spouse to expect less from her mother in the hope she won’t be so deeply hurt when assistance is withheld, so I wouldn’t focus on that point right now. You can help and support your wife by doing what you can when you are home, listening to her, validating her feelings, and acknowledging that you know it’s hard on the two nights you’re at work and she’s alone with the kids. Give yourselves some grace—few people have a rock-solid routine during the newborn phase.
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